With dinner done, I returned to the hotel to plot my moves. With two full days left, I intended to make the most of them. Usually, I wake at the crack of dawn while on holiday, but this time I slept in and never left the hotel until 11. I figured the Acropolis was a 5-minute walk away, I don’t need to get up early. But damn, how I wish I did. By the time I hit the streets at 11 a.m., it was already 33 degrees, and I had to walk up the steep incline to the Acropolis. My shirt was stuck to me like freshly lacquered wallpaper, but I was determined to continue the trek up.

God knows how many rosemary-waving gipsies I dodged while making my way to the entrance, but I am sure the headphones and my Spotify playlist (this is important to the rest of the story) drowned out at least 10 of them.

The entrance ticket was cheap, but the line was long, and this was all in the mid-day heat. It’s amazing to be able to walk around the ruins of an ancient civilization. But God, I wished that I had done it either earlier in the morning or late in the evening. The sun was beating down on me, and I began to melt in the heat. I honestly hid under a tree for an hour futilely trying to cool down. When that didn’t work, I decided to hit the other ruins on the way back to the hotel and marched downhill through the pine forest towards the ancient Amphitheatre of Herodeion. While walking that way, I saw another idiot, sorry I mean tourist, who braved the heat walking towards me. He stopped and asked me if I was going to the Amphitheatre, to which I responded yes, and then he said ‘No point, it’s closed’. I thanked him for preventing me from going to discover the same thing he did. He went his way, and instead of going back where I came from, I took a side route, and this is where things got interesting.

I had no clue where I was heading, all I knew was that the path was leading to the base of the hill, and from there I would find my way back to the hotel.

I’d been walking for over 2 hours, which turned out to be the length of my playlist. As I continued down the path through the forest, the music ended. As I reached for my phone to find another song, I heard a very masculine sound of “ah, aah, aaaaahhhhhh, yeah baby!” Looking sharply to my right, I quickly realized that I had stumbled across a couple ‘going Greek’ in Greece. If you don’t know what that means, look it up!

They were no more than 3 meters away from me. He was standing with his trousers down to his ankles, while she was bent over with her dress over her head. Being shocked, my immediate reaction was to gasp for air, and that gasp was so loud that they both looked at me at the same time. With all three of us feeling embarrassed, we realized a synchronized “Fuck,” sandwiched between nervous giggles. Too embarrassed to turn around or look anywhere else, I quickly started walking straight ahead. I had no clue where I was going, but I didn’t want to walk past them again.

This wasn’t the first time I’ve walked by couples doing the deed in public. I have something of a track record of doing it. BUT it was the first time that I was so close to the ‘action’. Honestly, they were no more than 3 meters away. How could they not hear me coming down the path? Was it something they planned? Whatever their intentions, I was too hot and too bothered to be there, so onwards I went. But that was a bad decision because I was walking for 30 minutes before I found the road again. I’m not even sure why I felt so embarrassed; I’m far from being a prude, and as I mentioned, it wasn’t my first rodeo, but it was the first time I’ve come across a randy couple while on holiday.

Eventually, I found the Acropolis Museum where I had a good giggle to myself while cooling off in the shade of the building.

I didn’t know much about ancient Greece other than what I knew from movies. But walking through the museum piqued an interest in learning more, especially since every Greek I’ve met is keen to remind me that something or the other comes from the Greek word/origin of…

After the museum, I saw an ad for a party boat cruise the following morning. It left Athens and went to 4 different islands, departing at 8 a.m. It was a fitting way to spend my last day in Greece, especially after being charbroiled from walking in the sun. With the cruise booked, it was now time for my new favourite meal of roasted lamb and salad.

My bus arrived on time, but it took an hour to complete all the hotel pick-ups. By 9:15, we began to board the boat, and I soon realized that this would be anything but a party. It was a 500-seater ferry, but there were only about 40 of us on the boat, and of that, only two of us looked like we had a few more years before retirement. The agency had sold me a dud; I wanted a party boat, and I got a floating retirement home.

I guess the other youngster felt the same way, and she made her way over to me, and we started to chat. Turns out she had the same intentions that I did: go out drinking on the Sea of Crete to cap off her trip. But like me, she was also sold a trojan horse.

We decided to make the most of it; there were four islands to visit, so no point sitting in a huff. Arriving at the first island, we realized that it was not worth getting off and had a drink and a chat while we waited for the older folk to return from the pistachio farms.

We did get off on the second island and walked down to the beach with a couple of other people, but we only had an hour on that island, so it felt a bit pointless. We then set sail to the island of Poros; here we had more time and managed to grab lunch and a few drinks on the beach. I can’t even remember if we got off on the fourth island as it was so uninspiring from the tour guide’s description.

We parted ways once we docked in Athens but swapped Instagram accounts and have remained in contact since then. The day was not what I expected it to be. I wanted to spend a drunken day on a boat; instead, I made a friend. A friend whose name I struggle to pronounce to this day, it’s embarrassing I know. I spent that final evening on the rooftop terrace of my hotel, sipping on cocktails I didn’t get on the boat.

Athens is a small city filled with surprises, and getting around is easy. I would say it’s a must-do, but plan it a little better than I did and definitely don’t visit in August!